Let's Call Him Jim
by jessi0129
Summary: Jim had always dreamed that one day, by some act of God, his father would walk through the front door of their family home in Iowa, kick Frank out, kiss his mother and save him and Sam from their abuse filled life. He was the only one Jim believed would ever be able to make everything okay in his life.
1. Chapter 1 : Message To The Unborn Child

**NOTES: **Okay, this is my first Spock/Kirk fic. So bear with me a bit.  
The first chapter is pretty short but, they will get longer as we go.  
Anyway, I pretty much just jumped right into it, not really wanting to waste time on stuff that wouldn't really make a difference in the stories advancements.  
It's set a few months after Star Trek: Into Darkness. So, if you haven't seen the film, I probably wouldn't read this until you have. But, this honestly won't dive into much detail about the plot of that film, although there are going to be some definite spoilers.  
So, anyways. On with the story, hope you enjoy it, and feel free to let me know what you think.

* * *

"Captain, we have a problem in the cargo bay."

"What is it, ?"

"I can't explain, sir. You'll just have come down and see for yourself." Scotty's voice seemed shaky,which caused the Captain to turn and look at his First Officer.

"On my way." Jim stated eyes not moving from the Vulcan, before cutting off. "Mr. Sulu, you have the conn."

"Sir." Sulu nodded.

"Mr. Spock, come with me."

Jim had only been back on the Enterprise for three months before they encountered another Romulan ship. One that they unfortunately found out was once working for/with Nero.

"Jim?" Spock asked once the doors of the turbolift slid shut.

"Yes, Mr. Spock?" Jim sighed, arms crossed, not looking at his First Officer.

"Ashaya, I understand your frustration-"

"Oh, you do, do you?" Jim cut him off.

Spock hit the halt button on the panel before turning to face his Captain, his Th'y'la. "Yes, I do. I understand that I may have crossed the line in my attempts to keep you from going forth with your plans-"

Jim scoffed, and turned to face Spock. "May have crossed line? Spock, I am the Captain, and just because we are sleeping in the same bed does not mean you get to disregard your place on this ship. Got it?"

"Yes sir." Spock nodded sharply and respectfully. But, then slightly slumped and whispered. "I just worry for you, Jim."

Jim's stern facial expression softened and his eyes melted from hard ice to warm deep pools of blue. He could never stay mad at his Vulcan when he knew all he wanted was for Jim to be safe.

The Captain sighed as he uncrossed his arms and slid his hand down Spock's arm until he reached his hand. He gripped the long, thin, elegant wrist and brought it up to his lips to press a soft gentle kiss to the palm of the hand.

Spock stared as his Th'y'la kissed the most sensitive part of his body. He felt his body heat and tingle as he watched the soft, plump lips press to the tender skin of his hand.  
"We better get down to cargo." Jim breathed in, his eyes closed, and Spock's hand still pressed to his lips.

Spock swallowed thickly, before nodding and hitting the button to continue the descent.

As they made their way over to the cargo lift Jim noticed that Bones was also called down to get a look at whatever Scotty had found aboard the Romulan ship.

"Mr. Scott." Jim grinned. "What do you got for me?"

"Captain, as we were going through the ship in check for any more Red Matter when we came across something well…" Scotty drifted off as two his men pushed the object toward them.

"A cryotube?" Jim panicked. He obviously had not known he was put into a cryotube, but it caused him to have flashes of imagines of the day of his death.

He stumbled back at bit as it was pushed towards him. Spock quickly braced himself behind the captain and held him tight.

"Jim, you alright?" Bones asked, looking into his eyes.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Jim snapped, pushing himself up more onto his feet.

"The thing is, Captain," Scotty said grimly. "We think we know who is inside."

"Who?" Jim asked taking a step closer, but being cut off by McCoy.

"Jim."

"Bones."

McCoy sighed and moved out of the way allowing Kirk to looking into the tube.

"Is that?" Jim jumped, looking wide-eyed at McCoy.

"Yes, that is Lieutenant Commander, George Kirk."


	2. Chapter 2 : When Your Hearts Crying Out

**NOTES: **And, we keep on truckin'

Jim screwed his eyes shut tightly and inhaled deeply to try and keep the tremors that were now running forcefully through his body, to hopefully lessen slightly. He tried to swallow down the thick lump that had formed in his throat, before opening his eyes slowly.

"What do we do?"

"Well, that's really more your decision than anyone else's, Jim." Bones replied uncharacteristically soft.

"Right," Jim nodded, eyes boring holes into the structure that housed the person that all of Jim's pain had centered around his entire life.

Jim had always dreamed that one day, by some act of God, his father would walk through the front door of their family home in Iowa, kick Frank out, kiss his mother and save him and Sam from their abuse filled life. He was the only one Jim believed would ever be able to make everything okay in his life.

"I think I need a minute." Jim rasped, reluctantly tearing his eyes away from the tube, he quickly made to leave the cargo bay.

As he began to pass by Spock he was stopped by a firm but painless grip on his bicep.

"Jim-" Spock started.

"Not now, Spock." Jim looked over his shoulder at his First Officer with pleading eyes. They both felt anxiety, concern, love, and the overwhelming feeling of heartsickness flow through their bond.

Spock's grip lessened until Jim was able to pull freely from his grasp and walk away. Spock turned to watch his Captain, best friend, and Th'y'la walk away with confidence he knew, he did not feel.

"Well, Commander..."

"Yes, doctor." Spock responded, turning back to face the Chief Medical Officer and Chief Engineer.

"I think ideal idea right now, would be for me to take Mr. Kirk up to the Sickbay to check on his… functions."

"That is most logical. Thank you, doctor."

* * *

Jim made it to his and Spock's shared quarters in record time. He quickly began to pace back and forth throughout the living area.

How was he supposed to process this? The albatross that he had finally come to live with was now being tightened to the point to where he couldn't breathe and he was suffocating under its pressure.

Jim scrambled to the bathroom before his stomach convulsed and caused him to ruin his uniform and the carpet floor.

After he was sure his body was done expelling the lunch he didn't eat, Jim slid to the floor, closing his eyes as he thunked his head against the wall. He began to try to slow his heart rate by slowly inhaling and then exhaling.

His body was vibrating with nerves, sickness, and complete and utter shock.

"Okay." He whispered to himself. "You can do this, Jim. It's just another glitch in another mission. It's just a man in a cryotube. A man that has been presumed dead for over twenty years. A man that just so happens to be your long, lost father. No big deal."

Jim scrunched up his face and rolled his head back and forth. "Fuck." He whooshed out a breath before pulling himself to his feet, only wobbling slightly.

He made his way out his quarters and walked purposefully to the Bridge. Everyone he passed quickly moved out of his way as if he would bite them if they even looked at him wrong.

As he walked onto the Bridge, Spock looked up at him from his Science Station with a look that only Jim knew held a great deal of concern behind it. Sulu nodded to him as he lifted himself out the chair and over to his pilot's seat.

Jim punched the link button as he flopped down in his captains chair. "Kirk to Sickbay." He snapped.

"Captain?"

"Dr. McCoy, I would like for you and Mr. Scott to meet me in the briefing room at the end of Alpha shift."

"Okay. You alright, Jim?"

"Fine, Bones. Kirk out."

Everyone quickly turned back to their stations when Jim looked up from his gaze on the link. The atmosphere would tense throughout the rest of the shift, with Jim fighting waves of nausea as he thought of father being alive this whole time, but was kept from him, his mom, and Sam because of revenged crazed alien.

If Jim could he would go back and kill Nero another hundreds times more.

* * *

"Mr. Chekov, Sulu, Spock, Uhura will you also accompany me to the briefing room." Jim stated at the end of their shift, as he left the Bridge.

Chekov and Sulu exchanged a confused look before allowing their relief to take over their stations. They were the last to arrive at the briefing room, quickly sliding into the last two seats around the table. Sulu next to Uhura and Chekov across from him beside Scotty.

"Alright, you guys, as you know, Mr. Scott made an interesting discovery awhile searching the Romulan ship we encountered two days ago. This discovery has become extremely personal for me, and as my Commanding Officers and friends, I would like you know and understand the situation that come to up." Jim swallowed and stole himself a second before continuing. "A cryotube was found on board the Romulan ship, and the person that is being held inside this tube is…. Is my father."

There was a gasp that was unmistakably from Uhura, as Sulu and Chekov yet again shared a look, but this time it being filled with wide-eyes and shock.

Jim nodded, "We don't know how or why this has happened, or what their intentions were, but I hope to find out soon."

"Jim," Nyota said softly, forgetting all professionalism. "What are you going to do about your father?"

Jim went to answer with a lie but looking into her dark, honest eyes caused him instead snap his mouth shut and shake his head. "I don't know."

"Is it possible to wake him up without killing him?" Sulu asked, eyes on McCoy.

"It is possible, but only with the right equipment and care." McCoy leaned back in his chair, rubbing a hand over his eyes.

"You're assuming that the captain wants to wake him up." Uhura looked sharply at Sulu.

"I wasn't assuming, it was just a question."

"Well, it was an insensitive question."

"Guys, guys," Kirk injected. "It's fine, really. Let's not have a lovers quarrel right now, please? I don't think my head can take it." He sighed as he rest his head in his hands.

"Do you want to wake him, sir?"

This time it was the voice of the Russian Ensign that asked the question.

Jim looked up through his fingers at his young, brilliant navigator. "Yeah, Mr. Chekov, I think I do."


	3. Chapter 3 : Try To Erase All The Pain

This was not love, or passion. There was no lust, or desire in those eyes. All there was, was pure frustration and anger flowing through the connection between them. Jim didn't need Spock for love, comfort, he didn't need Spock for Spock; he didn't Spock at all. He didn't want love or adoration, right now, Spock believed Jim would have taken any welcoming body to take out his anger on.

This was stress relief, Jim was reverting back into the boy who would distract himself from life's problems by bedding anyone he could. Ignoring the pain in his heart, with the pleasure of his body.

Spock couldn't stand the pain, and anger he saw in the eyes of the man above him. Jim, wasn't really looking at him. His eyes were on him, he saw his face, but he wasn't seeing Spock at all.

"Jim," Spock panted as his mate pounded relentlessly into him. "T'hy'la... do you... think you are emotionally…" Spock grunted in between words.

Jim quickly halted his thrust, leaning over Spock, still deep inside him while he glares down at his love. "If you say emotionally compromised, Spock, I swear to god, I will seriously go ballistic."

Spock moved his hands from where they were gripping Jim's biceps to run them throw the thick blonde locks. "That was not what I was going say. I wanted to say that I am concerned that you are trying to distract yourself from the pain you are feeling from the discovery of your father by engaging in sexual activity."

Jim groaned and hung his head. "Is this really the time to discuss this, Spock?" The only reply Jim received was a slight upward lifted eyebrow. Jim sighed before continuing. "Look can't a man come home to his guy after a long day's work and just want to be as deep in him as physically possible?"

"Yes." Spock whispered as he pulled Jim down for a kiss. "Yes, but, Jim even though you are, as you say 'as deep as physically possible' in me, you are very distant from me, ashaya. I believe that as of now it would not matter who is with you, that you only wish to remove yourself from the situation and that this has nothing to do with you and I. This is not out of love, Jim. I can feel it."

"Oh, ashaya." Jim sighed in guilt, turning his face to kiss the inside of Spock's knee that was still pulled up over his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm not being fair to you. It's just this whole day has been so screwed up and I just want it to go away so badly that I referred back to what I use to do before the Academy, by sleeping with anyone willing and not worrying about their wants and needs, just focusing on my ability to forget my problems for a while. I am sorry, T'hy'la. I'm hurting you."

"Would it not be better to focus on us, and our love? Would that not be a better distraction?"

Jim gave Spock a small but, genuine smile. "As always Mr. Spock, you know exactly how to improve my flawed plans to perfection."

With a quick twitch of the lips, Spock ground his hips up into Jim's groin, causing the captain to groan and stare lustfully down at his first.

"Now that your plan is officially in the status of perfection why don't you continue with them?"

Jim smiled as he rested his forehead against Spock's as he began to move again, this time at a much slower, and tender pace. His hips rolling slowly, his hands wandering lightly across sensitive green flushed skin, and his lips securely sealed with his T'hy'las.

* * *

Alpha shift the next day was alarmingly quiet, and stressful. Everyone was tiptoeing around Jim, only speaking to him and asking him questions when absolutely necessary. It was honestly starting to piss me off. He also knew that he was in fact snapping at everyone who spoke to him. Bones was calling him Captain Crank.

"Lieutenant, contact the USS Odyssey and send it to my ready room."

"Captain?" Uhura turned from her station to give Jim a confused look.

"Just do it, Lieutenant." He barked.

"Yes, sir."

Spock turned to look at the back of the blonde head he had become so fond of. Jim's back was ramrod straight, his shoulders tense, and jaw clenched tightly. The level of stress Jim was harboring underneath that tanned skin would be visible to a stranger.

During breakfast, Jim's fingers had lightly brushed against Spock's as the ate and sent a surge of heartache, anger, guilt, and loss through him so violently that he had to excuse himself to gain control.

"Captain?" Spock walked up to stand beside the captain's chair.

"Yes, Mr. Spock?"

"Captain, I wish to ask-"

"I have that transmission for you, captain." Uhura announced, unbeknowningly cutting off Spock mid-sentence.

"Thank you, Lieutenant." Jim stood from his chair. "We'll finish this later, Commander. You have the conn."

Once in his ready room Jim took a long, deep breath, sitting down at his desk. He had never been more nervous in his life, never wanted to run away from something more than ever before. He would much rather deal with Nero all over again, have Spock strangle him on the bridge, climb through the warp core than do what he was about to do now.

He could obviously delay the event, keep it withheld a little bit longer, until they had more answers, but good would that do? He would just continue to walk around with it weighing on his mind, on his heart. He needed to do this, he had to do this. It was what she deserved.

Jim hit the link before he changed his mind and ran away with his tail between his legs.

"Jimmy?"

"Hi mom."

Winona smiled through the screen. "It's good to see you, sweetheart. But, I have to admit I'm a little surprised by your call. Is everything alright?"

Jim laughed, but it wasn't one of relief or humor. It was strained and almost hysterical. Winona's heart began to flutter at the obvious distress her youngest son was in.  
"Jimmy, please tell me what's going on. You're scaring me. Are you okay? Is it Sam? Spock?"

"No, mom." he shook his head. "Spock's fine, I'm fine, as far as I know, Sam's fine."

Jim ran a hand over his face, staring intently at the edge of his desk, picking at the wood with his thumb nail. "Actually, everyone is fine, this isn't anything negative per se, but, it is quite... shocking."

"Okay…" Winona drawled, becoming more impatient with her sons obvious procrastination. "Are you gonna tell me? Or, are you gonna sit there and with your thumb up your ass?" Winona grinned.

Jim couldn't help but snort at his mother's attempt to relax him little bit. It was something she had always did, and has always done.

He finally Jim mustered up the courage to look his mother in the eye. She looked beautiful as ever. Her green eyes soft and apologetic. They had always been that way, especially since they had reconnected. When he was young the apologies were for leaving, for Jim not having a father. Now, they were for not believing him about Frank, for causing Sam to leave, for not protecting him. Jim was still angry, but since he had found Spock he could sympathize with her. If he were to ever lose Spock the way his mother lost his father, he would react the same way too. That is why he must tell her. He would want to know if his long lost love had somehow been found, and could possibly be restored to him. And, he's sure his mother feels the same way. "I found dad."

Winona's heart stuttered, as well as her brain. "Y-y-you what?"

"I found dad."

Winona's breathing started to pick up rapidly, her quarters began to feel extremely hot, and she felt completely nausea. "Jim," she gasped. "W-w-what do you mean? Your father has been gone your entire life. He's gone, I watched-" she cut herself off with a gasp, as tears began to well in her eyes.

"Please, mom, calm down, and let me explain."


End file.
